im sick of second chances, cigarettes turns to ashes. i watched the hours pass us, another one turns to ashes. im waiting for your phone call, to come and save me so that you can break my fall.
is there really a point of no return? where something you've done, can never be erased, can never be forgiven, and forgot? i guess its true, passing the point of no return. well this may sound very POTO(phamtom of the opera btw), but yeah, our histories always comes back and bites us. our history, or our reputation some might call it, scares a few of us. like what if the same shits gonna happen all over again. and you might say now, that no, im sure, it wouldnt. but hell! words always makes situations seem deeper, darker and more twisty than it is! and you know, words are also stuff people say, that makes things twice as complicated! words strangle your mind. they question you, and make you more confused than you already are!
so no, sometimes you cannot really believe what certain people say. in fact, i dont believe in anyone anymore. trust is lost in our generation. people just lie, all the time. just weaves and weaves of lies. and sometimes they just get so good at it, you wouldnt know who to believe anymore, cause once you've dug deep and cut out all the layer of lies on the top, the truth has already found itself a way into creeping onto our hearts. and yeah the truth sucks. it hurts like hell. but we still have to suck it up and swallow it no matter how nasty the taste is. cause thats life, and if it doesnt kill you, it'll only make you stronger.
you might say im afraid, damn right you are. im afraid of not being a better person. im afraid of being a fricking substitute. im afraid of you and of the way you make me feel. im afraid of falling into something i know i shouldnt. im afraid of myself, of what i do, what i decide and how i feel.
i'll take my heart, rip my feelings out. before they make me doubt my existence. im done hurting.
yours truly
